it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Is it penis luge time yet?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
