Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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