whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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