weddingsv make me drug and hornr
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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