So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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