he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
