it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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