CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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