watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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