I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize