return my video game
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
