Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
