remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
