Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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