This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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