It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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