we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
