He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
it's great music for shaving your balls
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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