Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You were trust falling into bushes
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
