i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize