Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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