I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize