do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize