The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
did i just pee glitter
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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