Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
