I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
