I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Dick very happy bro
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
