Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
