Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
