talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize