dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
