My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
