wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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