I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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