is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
