please come you make the beer taste better
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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