this boner is exhausting
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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