hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
