Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
