I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
