you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
