kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
