All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
