my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I didn't notice because vodka
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
