Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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