$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
