singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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