Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
