Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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