he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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