I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Randomize
