i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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