Don't you send me to vm
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Please, let me fuck your mom
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
