Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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