we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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