just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
