please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
