i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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