My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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