the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
