Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
