I didn't shave. On purpose
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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