I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You ate ashes out of my bong
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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