Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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