I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
