I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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