He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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