RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
