is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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