His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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